Your life is an amazing evolution, as you move through each stage and phase it brings with it change. Some changes are exciting, some can be overwhelming, but rather than looking back at how life was yesterday and trying to apply the same habits in this new phase of your life and expecting the previous results, it is important to evolve with the stages and the phases as they unfold and to truly live in the moment that you are in otherwise you are on the road to constant misery.
Give yourself a moment to step back and assess where you are in your life right now, what are your roles and responsibilities?
Now look at how you’re trying to address them and how you are trying to manage your life.
Do you feel in control of it? Is everything you do achieved with ease and grace, or do you feel out of control, and not good enough, like you are always chasing round and round in circles?
OK, stop thinking for a moment, close your eyes, take a really deep breath in and breath out slowly. Open your eyes and take an objective look at the time you currently have available to carry out the key roles and responsibilities on a daily basis and lovingly allow yourself the time to priorities what feels important to you at this precise moment in your life.
Yes maybe you used to get up every morning and run 3 miles before the sun was up, but now that you have a child/children that’s not feasible. Ask yourself this question, where am I in my life right now? How can I fit in exercise that works with the phase of your life that I’m in? Don’t punish your self by trying to do things that don’t fit comfortable with the life that you have right now, and don’t allow your mind to engage you in negative mental self-talk because you’re not able to do something right now that you ‘used to do’.
Start respecting yourself, begin planning the life that you want to live, it’s within your power to create this life. Talk to yourself like you would to a friend or partner and plan your life and your time for the phase of life that you’re actually living in. You simply cannot enjoy the life you have if you’re living in the past, mentally abusing yourself and employing destructive time/life management strategies.
On a piece of paper I want you to spend a few minutes listing down what comes to mind when you think about everything you feel needs doing. Don’t think about it too much just write down everything that comes into your head. Now find a different colour pen or a highlighter and circle or highlight what you feel are really the priorities in your life today. Next get a second sheet of paper and copy over in order of priority how you feel you should be spending your time. Once you have completed this task look at this new list, close your eyes and really think how it makes you feel to know what your true priorities actually are. Pin this list somewhere prominent so you have a clear reminder of what is actually important in this stage of life that you’re in.
Look back at your first lists and really begin to see that although there’re things on it that you may want to do/did in the past, they are not a priority right now. In fact attempting to add them to your other list is actually unkind and unnecessary.
You control what you think, what you do, and how you feel. Take charge and stop beating yourself up about a life that you think you ‘should’ live and actually start living and enjoying the life that you do have!